Wife protests when entitled husband insists she and 3 kids leave so he can have birthday party alone with his friends: 'This is the second year in a row'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2025 4:00 PM EST

One consequence of starting a family (if you're an involved parent, that is) is that you can kiss goodbye to having any significant amount of time to yourself, at least in the first few years. That being said, it is understandable to plan for some rest or alone time if you have the resources. The only caveat is that it is vital that your co-parent can enjoy the same benefit.

Unfortunately, many couples find that it doesn't work out that way. For the person who puts less effort into childcare, there is at best a level of denial at play, and at worst, an attempt at controlling and punishing their partner. Some individuals just don't want to realize that a good parental relationship involves teamwork, and would prefer to always prioritize their wants and needs over what is best for everybody in the family unit. It can be a source of stress.

 

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    "Never once have I been invited or included"
    via Anima Visual

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is exactly what one mom was dealing with when for the second year in a row, her husband of over a decade demanded that she take their three kids to visit her sister so he could throw a birthday party for himself without them. Revealing how he often partied with friends without involving her, she questioned whether this was normal behavior.

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    AskAubry @ask_aubry Oh hol no
    via ask_aubry
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    r/Marriage u/mari_rei. 1d Husband asked me to take our kids to visit family out of town while he throws a birthday party for himself. This is the second year in a row that this has happened. He works full time, I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years. He has asked me to take our three kids and go visit my sister out of state for a weekend so he can throw himself a birthday party with his work friends in our home. A few times a month he goes out to eat with friends, goes to the gym with friend
    via ask_aubry
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    The Road Jess Travelled @JessPected Replying to @ask_aubry Nothing says I love my wife & kids like wanting them gone for your birthday party with people who have never met them. When she leaves he'll claim he was blindsided & how dare she take his kids.
    via JessSpected
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    Priscilla Jensen @offhandmanor1 Replying to @ask_aubry Take the children to the sisters. First see a lawyer. Then go and stay
    via offhandmanor1
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    G. BARR @glennthegreat Replying to @ask_aubry Call it the lost decade and start making plans.
    via glennthegreat
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    Kacey Green @GCustom Replying to @ask_aubry This guy is most likely cheating on her, has her locked in the house with the kids and she doesn't know anyone in his life. Checks up on her like a cheater or someone who knows they married way up from their station.
    via GCustom
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    Emerald Jones @notyourgothmom Replying to @ask_aubry When people begin to question or accuse you of cheating seemingly out of the blue when you've given them no reason to do so — it's bc they're projecting their own infidelity. There's a reason she's never met his friends. They think he's single. So does his girl friends.
    via notyourgothmom
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    Jane Mactaggart @JaneMactaggartL Replying to @ask_aubry Find a way to make your own money & leave. He's untrustworthy & probably unfaithful (why else has she never met any of his friends?). Isolating women and burdening them with 100% domestic & childcare is an old control tactic.
    via JaneMactaggartL
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    Pouty McSulksalot @ViPuhstushyn Replying to @ask_aubry She's the help. The unpaid help. Housekeeper. Nanny. Personal assistant. S x worker when he can't get to the home of whoever his sidepiece is at any given time.
    via ViPuhstushyn
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    Voltron Sharknado Jr. @DeputyVan Halen4 Replying to @ask_aubry This is not normal. He's likely cheating, and even if he's not, his friends are what matter in his life. His wife and children are barely an afterthought.
    via DeputyVanHalen4
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    Questergirl (Cancer suc... @Questergirl Replying to @ask_aubry I checked out the actual post, and she's not emotionally attached to him anymore, knows the marriage is over, and is making strategic plans because she has 3 kids and investments.
    via Questergirl
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    Tawana @hopisgroove78 Replying to @ask_aubry Nope it's not normal, he might not just be with his friends. There is a reason why she's never met his friends. Those are things she should think about. This isn't the old days where women just stay home with the kids and have no outside the house life. She should go home.
    via hopisgroove78
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    StandUpRunDown @Stand Run Replying to @ask_aubry Take the kids and go but set up a few hidden cameras before you leave Bedrooms (yes even the kids bedrooms) and living room Review the footage while he's at work and give it to your lawyer should you have cause for concern
    via StandRun
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    table for one @kdsak Replying to @ask_aubry Tell him you are doing that and then rent a hotel room with a water slide nearby. Hire a babysitter. Wait across the street from your house for his side chick to show up.
    via kdsak
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    Eileen Fields @jumpinggiraffe8 Replying to @ask_aubry I say she does take that trip worth the kids. She should make sure to pack any important documents and take anything of value (sentimental or financially) that is hers and not come back. Then file for divorce. What he is doing is not normal, not in the least.
    via jumpinggiraffe8
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    Angelica Vrondos @AngelicaVrondos Replying to @ask_aubry He's got a whole other life that doesn't include his wife nor children.
    via AngelicaVrondos
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    ivorykuro @ivorykuro Replying to @ask_aubry Same vibes as my ex. He never celebrated with me, always went out to the pub/club with his mates while I looked after our two kids. I thought it was normal. 10 years of manipulation & gaslighting. When I left in 2010 he told me I would never find someone else like him.
    via ivorykuro
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    NS @Nicoleseelig Replying to @ask_aubry Seems to be that he regrets the whole wife and family thing, but doesn't want a divorce, because he needs to keep up appearances elsewhere. But he doesn't want them to interfere with his fun single life, either. But he still wants to control her life.
    via Nicoleseelig
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    Mrs Parker 47 @MrsParker47 Replying to @ask_aubry A story as old as time. I'm glad, but sad that you are even having to ask. You feel like this for a reason. Make a plan. Gather your children, pets & needed things, and leave. Look for the helpers.
    via MrsParker47
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    Abster @Abster_1983 Replying to @ask_aubry Your partner should be one of your closest friends. That doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip. But, it does mean you should be part of each other's social circle, every so often. So many relationships out there have that friend/partner separation. I find it weird.
    via Abster_1983
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    Sayde Scarlett @Sayde_Scarlett Stop marrying men who don't like you, please, I beg of you.
    via Sayde_Scarlett

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